Excuses to your manager/ Boss

Situation 1: Your friend is in town and you have to stay back and spent time with him. 

What is the Problem: No leaves because you went to Goa just for the heck of it

 Solution:

 Call your Boss. This is how the conversation should be

“Boss I don’t think I can make it today”

“What happened?”

“I am sick boss. Dunno what happened all of a sudden I could not do anything” Do not say I have high temperature; do not say you have stomach problem and all stupid silly sicknesses as excuses, Make sure you tell him you are not able to do anything.  At this point you have to exhale and breathe heavily and should choke yourself. Then take 30 seconds of your time and then talk to him again. Boss give me sometime I will try to come, something is troubling me inside it happened to me a very long time ago when I was in college and again clog yourself then cut the call immediately.

Call your boss after 5 minutes. Sorry Boss could not speak properly (All these had to be done in a low and shaky voice) practice with your friend over the phone.

Now tell him, Boss I am feeling noxious and breathe heavily. I will take rest and will come tomorrow if this does not work either you r a bad actor on the phone or your boss is a sadist.

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Situation: Friends party and two hot chicks are coming

What is the problem: You yelled at your boss for no apparent reason and he is mad at you

Solution 1:

Invite him to the party and show the pictures of the hot chicks. 

Caution : May not work and might back fire, even it may fire you from the job.

Solution no 2:

Message him the same exact thing. (Boss I am very sorry I know I should not yelled at you like that the other day, I do not know how I will make it to you but I promise I will never ever be a Jackass in front of you. Please forgive me for the last time because there will not be next time. I mean it from the heart). You will get a reply most probably it is alright, please do not repeat it.

Then after 2 hours message him saying your friend is coming from Kuwait for a surprise visit and you have to go and pick him up from the Airport and he got a call from your common friend just now and you do not know why he is coming.

Once your shift starts call your boss and tell him your friend had a breakup and he is talking all nonsense and he might do something stupid and you have to be with him.

Impact: Less, Definitely a winner.

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Situation 3: You went for the IPL match 

What is the problem: your boss sees you on TV but you told your boss your Mom is sick and you had to take her to the hospital.

Solution 1:

 Your friends from work might message you saying what had happened. Put up hospital bandage around your hand and come to office and tell your boss you were lying to him, your Asshole friends took you for the IPL match and there was a fist fight. The impact was the bandage and you felt sorry for your behavior and the punishment is this.

Solution 2: 

Buy the most expensive ticket in IPL and give it to your boss for the next match stating he went for the match just to get this ticket as he knew few people in the stadium. 

Impact: This will reflect on your Evaluation score (Of course Bad score)

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Situation 4: ONLY FOR GIRLS Whose Manager is a guy (Date with the most handsome guy in the neighborhood)

What is the problem: Boss is the most Eligible bachelor and you canceled him on a date stating same team members should not Date according to company policy.

Solution1: 

Since you know you are going for a date, tell your boss your friend of 15 years is finally in town and you had to spend time with her for the last time as she may never come back.

Solution 2:

Tell your boss, you were such an idiot the other day for cancelling the date and ask him for a date again. The very next day tell him you had to take a day off to meet X, Y, Z (Don’t cancel him on the date which you promised)

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Situation 5: Your favorite Band is in town. 

Advantage: Your boss likes the band

Problem: Leave is over because your GF/BF forced to spent time with her/him and you took Leave.

Solution: 

Make sure you get two tickets, no matter what the situation is ensure there are two tickets, hook or crook, smart work or snatching the ticket does not matter “TWO TICKETS” Surprise your boss by showing the tickets and you both can bunk work and bang your head to the riff or sit down and enjoy the music. 

To be Continued..........