Excuses to your manager/ Boss

Situation 1: Your friend is in town and you have to stay back and spent time with him. 

What is the Problem: No leaves because you went to Goa just for the heck of it

 Solution:

 Call your Boss. This is how the conversation should be

“Boss I don’t think I can make it today”

“What happened?”

“I am sick boss. Dunno what happened all of a sudden I could not do anything” Do not say I have high temperature; do not say you have stomach problem and all stupid silly sicknesses as excuses, Make sure you tell him you are not able to do anything.  At this point you have to exhale and breathe heavily and should choke yourself. Then take 30 seconds of your time and then talk to him again. Boss give me sometime I will try to come, something is troubling me inside it happened to me a very long time ago when I was in college and again clog yourself then cut the call immediately.

Call your boss after 5 minutes. Sorry Boss could not speak properly (All these had to be done in a low and shaky voice) practice with your friend over the phone.

Now tell him, Boss I am feeling noxious and breathe heavily. I will take rest and will come tomorrow if this does not work either you r a bad actor on the phone or your boss is a sadist.

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Situation: Friends party and two hot chicks are coming

What is the problem: You yelled at your boss for no apparent reason and he is mad at you

Solution 1:

Invite him to the party and show the pictures of the hot chicks. 

Caution : May not work and might back fire, even it may fire you from the job.

Solution no 2:

Message him the same exact thing. (Boss I am very sorry I know I should not yelled at you like that the other day, I do not know how I will make it to you but I promise I will never ever be a Jackass in front of you. Please forgive me for the last time because there will not be next time. I mean it from the heart). You will get a reply most probably it is alright, please do not repeat it.

Then after 2 hours message him saying your friend is coming from Kuwait for a surprise visit and you have to go and pick him up from the Airport and he got a call from your common friend just now and you do not know why he is coming.

Once your shift starts call your boss and tell him your friend had a breakup and he is talking all nonsense and he might do something stupid and you have to be with him.

Impact: Less, Definitely a winner.

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Situation 3: You went for the IPL match 

What is the problem: your boss sees you on TV but you told your boss your Mom is sick and you had to take her to the hospital.

Solution 1:

 Your friends from work might message you saying what had happened. Put up hospital bandage around your hand and come to office and tell your boss you were lying to him, your Asshole friends took you for the IPL match and there was a fist fight. The impact was the bandage and you felt sorry for your behavior and the punishment is this.

Solution 2: 

Buy the most expensive ticket in IPL and give it to your boss for the next match stating he went for the match just to get this ticket as he knew few people in the stadium. 

Impact: This will reflect on your Evaluation score (Of course Bad score)

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Situation 4: ONLY FOR GIRLS Whose Manager is a guy (Date with the most handsome guy in the neighborhood)

What is the problem: Boss is the most Eligible bachelor and you canceled him on a date stating same team members should not Date according to company policy.

Solution1: 

Since you know you are going for a date, tell your boss your friend of 15 years is finally in town and you had to spend time with her for the last time as she may never come back.

Solution 2:

Tell your boss, you were such an idiot the other day for cancelling the date and ask him for a date again. The very next day tell him you had to take a day off to meet X, Y, Z (Don’t cancel him on the date which you promised)

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Situation 5: Your favorite Band is in town. 

Advantage: Your boss likes the band

Problem: Leave is over because your GF/BF forced to spent time with her/him and you took Leave.

Solution: 

Make sure you get two tickets, no matter what the situation is ensure there are two tickets, hook or crook, smart work or snatching the ticket does not matter “TWO TICKETS” Surprise your boss by showing the tickets and you both can bunk work and bang your head to the riff or sit down and enjoy the music. 

To be Continued..........

2 minutes

Baby Good morning… says the boy

Voice on the other end says let me sleep for some more time Love… says the girl

Baby its 8 in the morning and you need to eat

She wakes up and stretches her hand and says Good morning

I do not know what I will do without you Love and plants a kiss on the Phone

I know sweetheart life is much better when I hear you

Now go and eat only then I will eat…………………….

A typical conversation between a BF and a GF

We call our BF/GF every single morning wake her/him up and ask him to get dressed, ask her to eat and there will be a romantic fight on why she is not eating and finally he will convince her to eat and a sense of romantic victory jumps in. 

I used to call my GF every single day and ask her to eat, it gives me happiness. I believe that is how a BF has to be to her GF. I made a list of things a BF has to do to his GF same implies to a girl as well.

•    BF has to call her GF everyday
•   Make sure she eats breakfast, lunch, Dinner
•  Make sure she drinks water
•  Make sure she is alright
•  Protect her from all the evil eyes prying for her
•  Tell her she is not fat and she has the perfect body.
•  Tell her all Lovey,jovey sweet words to her
•  Tell him he is the guy she has to be with.
•  Tell him no matter what happens I will be with you
•  Tell her/him out of million guys/girls around I find something special in you.

I am sure all the above points are followed with full heart and dedication by each and every one of us. It is healthy and I think in the Love life of someone, in this contemporary generation this has to be done with complete dedication. 

I feel good and content when I do the above things. Love is great right?? It brings the most unattainable happiness and a sense of craziness in you, in me and why does that happen only when we are in Love with a girl or a boy now “do not tell me because it is LOVE and you will know the feeling only when you are in LOVE”. I have been there and I have done that So Stop giving all Gyan.

My Mom fell sick few days back and she was having high temperature. When I first heard it I was very concerned just like any other son would have felt but this time there was a difference. I really felt like I have to be around her and take care of her, the same feeling when I get when my GF is sick.

I had my breakfast the other day and I was going back to my house and was brooding all these years why I have not felt the same way? Friends who are close to me might say due to the recent unforeseen frenzies and how unkempt I looked is making you say this, well I don’t mind if you think that way. I was pondering on the same went back and I was lying down on the bed and was wondering how a girl makes such a difference in our life. Why do we leave everything and go crazy about her well it’s LOVE that’s why we do that rite?? . 

Mom and Dad are the most beautiful Love You can ever get but when we get to the age and we fall in Love everything becomes secondary. Our Work, our friends, our passion, sports and I kept thinking to myself and I could not get an answer to this mysterious and unsolved puzzle over the last million years.

I do not talk to my Mom/Dad for over 15 minutes. I know many of us do that and especially girls spent over one hour telling their mom what happened that particular day. Why am I blurting out all these things here will tell you.

Ever since my mom had high temperature I felt bad and could not stop thinking about her. Could not stop thinking what she had for breakfast, what she had for dinner, did she take her medicines. If this would have happened to my GF I would have called her like 30 times in a day and would have made sure she is fine.

Why a GF makes much difference when compared to my Mom. Did she lose her place for her son or am I making a fool out of myself saying this is Love. 

I picked up my phone and dialled her number in the morning around 7 Am the next day spoke to her for 2 minutes asked her how is she feeling?? Asked her what breakfast she had?? I asked her if she took her medicine. It felt good. I was happy. I did the same in the night around 9 pm. 

I did the same the very next day and I kept on doing this even after she recovered. I started calling my dad and asked him how he is doing in his business. How’s everything with the workers?? A simple two minute conversation felt good and I was content. It made me realise how important I am to my parents. I thought this is the real me. No girl could ever replace this with anything not even my wife if at all there is going to be one.

The other day my dad told me over the phone mom was telling me you were calling her every day in the morning the minute when he told me that I knew my Mom was so happy that I am calling her and asking about her. Yesterday she told me why you did not call me in the morning I told her I was in a hurry to go for the cricket match and I had to call you in the afternoon she understood. I realised a simple two minutes will bring happiness in their heart and it brought a joy of elation to myself.

Talking to my so called GF over the phone for so many hours might bring the romantic inner me but a simple two minute conversation with my Mom/Dad brought the “REAL ME” 

Love you Mom and Dad

A Journey to Happiness

How many of us like our Job. I mean c’mon don’t we do it because that is the first job which we came across and there was no turning back since. Few of us took it because this is the one job which was the last thing we can get and at least the recruiter took pain to go through our resume and gave the job not that we are talented but because they do not have a choice but they desperately need people to do their jobs. I am going to tell you a little story about happiness in life. 

There was kiran. He has never kissed a girl. He had curly hair and he wears shirts which are larger than his size and wears sneakers with his trousers. He did not care about anything except for his books and his assignments. So when he got the Job offer of 32L PA from a highly reputed banking company he did not show any excitement, he was not jubilant about the offer, he calmly walked out of the Interview room and called his parents and informed them BTW he is an IIM graduate. 

Deep down inside his heart he was missing something. He had friends who were always good to him. He did not bother anyone and he had this tag Nerd on his face all the time. No one bothered him as well not that he is selfish like the guys in our class who study for themselves and be in their own cocoon detached from the rest of the world. He helped his class mates in whatever doubts they had but what he loved was painting whenever he gets time off from his studies he paints which was sporadic.

When he got the offer letter He walked to his hostel room and sat on his bed pondering why I am not even happy with the Job offer?? He closed his eyes for a moment and ran a short flashback of his life all he could see is studies studies and more studies. Books books and more books. Assignment assignments and more assignments, Kiran could not comprehend with the same.

He took his painting materials and started to paint which brought him happiness which the 32 lakhs Job offer could not give him, yet 32 lakhs is a colossal amount and no way in his life he could earn so much by painting he finished a painting and was looking at it like a mother looking at her child in her arms. He was blissful and he was content with his work. 

The next day Kiran called the bank HR and said he will pass the offer and will not be joining on the given date. Asked whether he needs a salary hike or if he has got any offer from any other bank his reply was a stiff “No” I would like to Paint. HR was bemused by his answer who would say no to 32L Per annum. Such a Jerk he is I say!!!

Everybody was dumbfounded by his decision I mean who would leave an offer of 32L that was a gold mine right in front of him. He even got a hike of extra 5L and he politely declined. His parents lectured him for like 3 hours which made no difference.

The very next day he packed his bags and booked a ticket to Chennai where Saravanan stayed he is a painter and they met at a painting exhibition and shared a mutual rapport between them ever since.

No one could stop him he had a pretty good saving in his account. He had saved a huge chunk right from the day his dad gave him a ten rupee note when he was 7 years old. So money was not a problem but what bothered him was his future what is he going to do?? What will happen when the money gets over?? This is a risk where all his hard work, his reputation, his parents highly acclaimed social status are at stake but he did not care anything at that point, all he want to do is paint paint and more painting.

Saravanan was quite surprised when he saw Kiran and when he recited the story all saravanan did was smile. 

Then began his journey of pursuing his passion, anxiety crippled with happiness a world which he barely knew yet so familiar and he loved the journey. The moment he started to paint his fear, parents, friends, future everything was far away. Like a dotted line faded in to the darkness.

That is when he realized this is what he is destined to do. The Journey which he has to travel miles but not far from reach. A journey in which distress, the ordeal which he has to undergo is inevitable.

It’s been 3 years but he is a struggling painter his painting were hardly recognized his account balance got over he earned little by painting businessman’s portraits, Cine stars and sold his painting for a meagre amount. He could eat every day and pay his bills but the happiness which he got through painting is something he realized his 32L Job wouldn’t have given him. When he prepared his bed he had nothing to worry all he can think was no other job would have given him this happiness. 

He was sure some day his break will come and he will enjoy his happiness with a drive in a Porsche and a meal at the Taj with a hotshot.

Yes and came the day when a cine star’s portrait won reviews and praised upon. A painting of Amitabh looking upon India gate with a Glimmer of hope the painting says it all. It had life in it. It had the colours the story it couldn’t be any better and his dream came true when he arrived in a Porsche with the same actor and unveiled his portrait which went on to sell in millions.

Happiness is something one in a million will pursue. A journey few will embark upon. Few have chosen that path. Time is never late. Take a risk and it is worth it. When will your journey start??

Friends, Cricket and Stupid crush

Friends,Cricket and Stupid Crush

There are two things which can never be taken away from an Indian “Cricket” and “Cinema”

Many in Modern India think cricket is a waste of time. I once heard someone saying it kills time, 5 days of play with 11 idiots waiting for something to happen with two bats and two painfully dreaded umpires.

       When Sachin hits a six it brings smiles and happiness on our face No matter what you do where you are? This question can never be stopped!! Dude what’s the score??

        Ramesh and krishnan are known for their infamous fight and ugly spat over the years. They were inseparable once but they are best known for their enmity.

         

               They were living in a small town called kudumbai in tamilnadu.  You can say it is a well-developed town. Saumya was the Reason behind their infamous torn friendship. They used to be best buddies but when they fell in Love with saumya and then everything changed. Best buddies ever since they know each other from their mommy’s womb turned out to be an ugly spat over a girl.

They fought for the best place in class to look at saumya.

They get a chance they gave their heart out to impress saumya.

They get the best food from home to give it to saumya.

Saumya had a hint about it but never cared to look in depth as she was busy preparing for her 12^th grade exams which will decide her future paths and the boys also prepared so hard but at the same time were also busy preparing on a book called How to impress saumya??

       Exams came out saumya went to Chennai to pursue her studies in IIT Chennai. Ramesh and krishnan stayed back joined Diploma in Computer and history as they were too busy concentrating on saumya but Saumya decided to ignore them.

       The blame game started and it became one of the silliest yet ugliest fights in the history of the town. Ramesh hit Krishnan with a cricket bat hard on his head and there were 4 stitches on his forehead which left an undeniably rough look any street fighter would need. Months went thankfully both of them studied in different colleges.

        One thing led to another and the silly fight over saumya grew larger one could not imagine it went on to become a gang war. The ones enviable Best friends became the enjoyable fighting gang for both the college guys.

         There was this selection for South zone Inter collegiate cricket tournament. The selection process was in Krishnan’s College. Both Ramesh and krishnan are well known for their Technical skill in batting, both of them open for their college cricket teams and it was no surprise when they got selected.

             The cricket camp was held in Coimbatore. Both ramesh and krishnan for the first time did not say anything nasty against each other and maintained discipline despite the well-known Bull fighters were there in the cricket camp the reason was simple they were playing cricket and cricket is something which can change anything in India. Moms update scores to their children dad lets his kid to skip school to play cricket. Brothers encourage each other to play cricket and when India plays no matter he is from Punjab, Srinagar, Jharkhand , Chennai, blore , Cochin , manipal , Bihar there is one word which everyone will chant Sachin or “Indiaaaaa Indiaaaa”.

         The tournament started Coach decided both krishnan and Ramesh will open the innings and they try to outdo each other which in a way benefited the team and both of them played the innings of their life. The team went in to the final and the opposition scored 310 in 40 overs which is a massive target and back in the Dressing room the coach said

         “No matter what you have achieved so far does not matter, you might have scored centuries made your team happy till this day but this is the biggest match of your lives. I want the cup to be taken home finish the game soon and I want to go home for dinner. It’s a very easy score all you need to do is hang in there and finish it with pride”

           Ramesh and krishnan looked intently in to the coach’s eyes as they made their way to the ground.

Ramesh said “I don’t care what happened between but let us win this game”

“I hope so and let us play the game of our lives” said krishnan.

          Opposition had the pace attack for years from different bowlers and people wondered how they managed to produce some beautiful seamers and it was a treat to watch every time someone bowls.

Ramesh closed his eyes and thought about the glimmering cup for a moment and faced the first ball.

           The character they showed till the 25^th over was something which will go in the coaching book for years. The coach was proudly standing at the pavilion and had a pride that they are his boys.

From the 25^th over its all technique and what a commentator say is all over the ground. They hit the ball with elegance and when they did hit it, it went like a bullet.

            37.3 overs both of them centuries still on the crease one run to win. Ramesh hit the winning runs and you can sense their joy krishnan went and lifted Ramesh and that is when the hate, grudge, gang wars, jealously vanished like it did not even exist. Their eyes met like a long lost lovers. A drop of tear came down from their eyes not because they won the match but the friendship which once they thought will never see its Light started to see its day.

            They hugged so tight and both walked to the pavilion with a standing ovation.

Cricket in India can never be taken away from anyone. It can bring the long lost less hopeful crazy friends together in the most dramatic filmy ishtyle :)